Pokemon: Tale of a Vindictive Pikachu
by OO-Infinity-OO
Summary: Pika!"said Pikachu. Ash eyed Pikachu curiously and shrugged, interpreting his actions as an endearment, thus, he continued walking with renewed energy. Little did he knew that the real meaning of this seemingly innocent response was not so… endearing
1. Chapter 1

_Don't own Pokemon._

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Pokémon: Tale of a Vindictive Pikachu

Chapter 1

Ash Ketchum sighed in relief as he finally reached the peak of the mountain. He was one step closer to catch the rarest of the pokémon: Rayquaza, the humongous, green, flying, almighty snake-like creature, that lived in the highest point of the highest pillar, on the highest peak, of the tallest mountain in the region of Hoenn ('cause you know, he's too cool to live in a common day-to-day location, like, I don't know, some grassland on route 120. But, no that is not of the liking of his Greenness).

So maybe Ash wasn't _that _close to his goal after all. But remember that he has a never ending supply of optimism! That and the constant weight of his, relatively fat friend (Pikachu had monopolized Ash's shoulder, since he demanded that he was just too important to stain his little yellow paws on the dirt. Speaking of which, he had not been able to see those two for quite the time now…maybe it was time for some exercise) on his shoulder, plus the beating sun was making him delusional. So, on he went with his journey, trusted companion still perched like a gargoyle on his shoulder.

"We're almost there Pikachu" Ash said weakly, "Just another one-thousand meters of dangerous cliffs and rocks and we will reach our destiny. After this I'm sure my childhood dream of becoming the world's greatest pokémon Master will come true, regardless of how many Pokémon leagues I keep losing, or how many strong pokémon I let free!" the boy claimed happily in the afternoon sun to his rat-like companion. Pikachu just tilted his blond head and said "Pika! Pika! Pika...chu?" followed by a disturbing smile. Ash eyed Pikachu curiously and shrugged, interpreting his actions as an endearment, thus, he continued walking with renewed energy.

Little did he knew that the real meaning of this seemingly innocent response was not so… endearing.

What Pikachu was saying was something like this: "Why! Oh, why do I have to be the last pokémon on that damned lab! I should have listened to my mother and stayed in the tree! But no! I wanted to see what that perverted professor was doing with the red-headed lady. Now I'm stuck with this imbecile who can't see past the never-ending collection of pathetic disguises team Rocket come up with. Argh! Why me?!...Wait, I must plan a way to doom this trainer's life… hmm…a well placed thunderbolt to slowly fry his insides? Or maybe hit him with a skull bash and leave him to die of blood-loss, or maybe…..

Hehehe, I think is better if we leave him there.

A little ray of sunshine, isn't he?

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After some days of difficult climbing, dangerous cliffs, and very suspicious near-death accidents, our favorite hero reached the, supposedly humble, abode of Rayquaza. Said home consisted of walls, floors and ceiling furnished with the most stunning emeralds you could find, a staircase made out of rubies and on top of the stairs a giant bed, covered in the finest blue-silk sheets. Clearly the Green-lizard king was living a good life, which explained why he never bothered to help his fellow legendary pokémons escape Team Magma and Team Aqua until they were quarreling, endangering all human and pokémon existence alike. But that, and how he was able to acquire such exquisite gems and bed-sheets, is another story.

Ash stared at "humble" house/cave of Rayquaza, torn between taking a "few" souvenirs or capturing the Legendary pokémon. And after some profound (not) thinking, Ash decided that great fortune and richness was even better than that stupid "Pokémon Master" title. Our hero quickly procured a drill and a hammer from thin air and started robbing the poor (figuratively) unsuspecting King of the sky. Carefully, as to not make noise Ash saved the enormous pieces of emerald in his Mary-Poppins-like bag.

Laughing like a mad man, the brunette continued taking sections off the wall.

Meanwhile, poor Pikachu lay forgotten on a dark corner. Seemingly innocent round eyes watched the greedy trainer like a fearow who was about to make a kill. Yes, Pikachu had finally stepped down the shoulder and tainted his beautiful corn-flowered-colored paws, when the toxic fumes emanating from the drill started to make him dizzy. This infuriated the little pokémon more than you could imagine. His little fat body revolted with more rage a gyarados and a primeape combined could muster. His eyes narrowed. And then, a creepy hunter-like smirk slowly appeared in his chubby face. Seems like Pikachu has another evil plan…

Ash wiped his sweaty forehead, and stepped back to admire his handiwork, large chunks of wall and floor were missing here and there. Ash was one-hundred percent sure he had collected enough emeralds to live a comfortable life in Pallet town. Hmm… he thought, "Maybe girls I randomly meet every time I start an adventure will finally take me seriously! Hehehe… I refuse to be 'Just friends' with every girl I meet!" exclaimed the sexual repressed adolescent.

Suddenly Ash felt a firm tug on his sleeve. His face paled and his blood ran cold. Had he been discovered? He quickly put all his tools in the Mary-Poppins-like bag, thinking he could hide the mischief he had been doing. (This narrator clearly questions his mental well-being because certainly, Rayquaza, could not miss the new, "windows", his cozy home had now or the new "Olympic-pool" in the middle of the room…)

But no, the Pallet town native had not been discovered. The origin of this small tug was just his "loyal" companion, the one and only, Pikachu. "What is it? Don't you see I'm a little busy Pikachu?" Ash said, irked by the sudden interruption in his "souvenir hunt". "Pika! Pika! Chu! Chu!" said the yellow pokémon with a disturbing delighted expression. Pikachu was pointing at the giant red-staircase in the middle of the chamber, that apparently, for some mysterious reason, the trainer had overlooked.

The reaction was instantaneous, Ash's eyes borrowed the form of a starmie and drool came out of his mouth, he stood unmoving for several minutes. All of this not helping change the opinion of this narrator and Pikachu, that undoubtedly this boy must had been dropped head-first on the floor when little. Maybe because Mrs. Ketchum was busy doing not-so-innocent things with the next door scientist.

Pikachu started making a victory dance followed by his trade-mark victorious pose, celebrating Ash's sudden and oh-so-tragic stroke when abruptly, said trainer, rocketed forward with his newly best-buddies: Mr. Hammer and Ms. Drill and his inexplicably weightless Mary-Poppins-like bag.

Poor Pikachu almost had a heart attack!

When the yellow midget recovered from his near-death experience (Maybe he needs to lose some weight), he quickly remembered his evil-plan. He would lurk in the shadows, waiting for the perfect opportunity to use his obese body and make Ash Ketchum, or Sir Ketchum as he call himself now, fall to his unavoidable doom.

"Pikaaaaachuuuu!" exclaimed the smug Pikachu. Ash turned his head and smiled at Pikachu, "Eager, aren't we? Don't worry Pikachu! I shall collect enough treasures for both of us. Finally we will move out of my mother's house!" and in afterthought he added "You know Pikachu? I keep hearing this strange noises at night every time we stay at my house. Like bed-posts scratching the floor and some banging coming from my mom's bedroom. Strange, isn't? Maybe she is having nightmares…" Pikachu just… well, pikachued him in response, this roughly translated in something like: "Fool! Your mom is having fun by the old pervert under your own nose! HAHA!

Ash sent him another smile, again, mistaking Pikachu's meaning and continued with his work, blissfully unaware of the dark schemes his childhood "friend" had planned.

Another 30 minutes passed by, that make you admire how heavy sleeper Rayquaza was. Not once had the almighty pokémon heard the cracking maniac laughter of the bizarre human below. Anyway, Ash kept flying from ruby to ruby like a beedrill collecting nectar. Then he located a stunning ruby in the center of the scarlet staircase, reaching it quickly he started to drill.

Pikachu's patience finally had been rewarded, for the back of the clueless boy was facing him. Seizing his opportunity Pikachu backtracked some distance to ensure maximum power and charged.

To be continued.....

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Well, tell me what you think! and please point out any grammar mistake you find.

-00-Infinity-00-


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't own Pokémon_

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Pokémon: Tale of a Vindictive Pikachu.

Chapter 2

Pikachu sprinted, mindset on his target a few feet ahead, while dodging some holes along the way. "Almost there! Almost there!" were his thoughts and quickly maneuvered his quick-attack to Ash's most accessible area. Freedom here I come! Pikachu thought, 3, 2, 1…

Ash suddenly felt a powerful blow on his lower back and went flying some distance. All the way screeching so high, that somewhere in an alternative universe, a group of fan-girls wiped out a tear of pride. But fortunately or not so fortunately, depending from which side you saw it, he landed safely on his skinny rear a few feet away. He stood up nursing his buttocks preparing to give an earful to his first pokémon. Searching the cave, Ash finally located Pikachu, but something appeared to be wrong with him. Pikachu was paralyzed staring at something, face emotionless. Ash followed his line of sight and his face lost all trace of color.

Precisely when he had been a moment ago, a big hole appeared. Apparently, he had drilled a _little _too deep making the entire section where the ruby was placed fall and almost send him to the afterlife. His pokémon had just save him.

Pikachu just stared…

Ash stared…

They stared…

Team Rocket was blown away from an unknown location…

Moments later, Ash just laughed out loud (You know? Maybe Rayquaza _was_ deaf…) then profusely thanked the unresponsive Pikachu and… surprise, surprise! He continued collecting gemstones dancing around like a drunken jinx.

However, when his back was to Pikachu, said pokémon's plump face slowly started to turn orange, then purple, and finally reached a beautiful reddish color that could put Moltres' legendary flames to shame. Pikachu had the sudden urge to jump out from any of the increasing number of holes, but with the iron will of a machomp, refrained of doing so. He had a mission to accomplish after all.

So he just banged his head continuously on the stairs.

Minutes later, light descended on Pikachu's round, fuzzy head. He stopped hitting his head and slowly, his chubby face showed another disturbing smile (Maybe he had taken classes from Ash's gengar which, by the way, he gave away to a poor, lonely, gym leader woman who _clearly_ could not get one herself, but that is another story too.). Pikachu just had an epiphany! (Or maybe it was a concussion.) Nevertheless, he had a new master plan. And a big protuberance on the head.

* * *

In another part of the heavy-sleeping pokémon's domain, Ash continued with his quest. He even had invented a new motto: "Gotta steal 'em all!" which he proudly shouted randomly while working. As you can see, our favorite hero can multitask…

He had almost raided the whole shire. Even the ceiling could not escape unscathed, which explained the sudden ray of sunshine that illuminated Pikachu. However, don't ask this humble narrator how he accomplished that, for I was busy watching and describing what the yellow incubus was doing. I don't have eyes in the back of my head you know?!

Moving on…

Ash was sitting down on a now, gem-less staircase, taking his well earned five-minute rest. He was contemplating what he would buy with the gems when Pikachu approached him. Like the first time, his "friend" happily pointed out the wonderful silk sheets where Rayquaza lay sleeping like a boulder. "Sir Ketchum's" eyes turned the size of voltorbs and greedily could only stare. Drools fall like a waterfall down his chin…again.

Pikachu, having learned from his previous experience with Ash's intellectually-less moment, waited patiently.

Minutes passed. Nothing happened.

Maybe he finally had the stroke! Pikachu though merrily. Inching slowly to the brunette, Pikachu carefully extended one, fat paw, to poke him. And as he approached in slow motion the paralyzed, _still_ drooling, form of Ash Ketchum, he took the liberty to scrutinize his paw. Scornfully he saw that his once sun-colored fur, his pride and joy, was now acquiring a brownish-black color and the lovely smell of a muk. "That scum must suffer and pay for this!" were his alarming thoughts and quickly determined that instead of his previous plan, he would just push him down a hole to his inevitable end. Narrowing his eyes and making that, oh-so-familiar smirk, he continued pushing his stout paw forward.

Revenge was just a hair's distance.

It was in this moment that "Sir Ketchum" decided to snap out of his stupor. And like the last time, with the speed of a dodou and the grace of a hippowdon, Ash advanced toward the new treasure. And like the last time, our over-weighted friend, almost had another heart attack.

Poor thing. He jumped 3 feet in the air…at least he is making some exercise.

As Pikachu recovered from his second near-death experience in this day, his insatiable trainer was formulating a master plan of his own. He was thinking a way to take the most amount of silk without waking the amazingly, still snoozing legendary pokémon. After some careful planning he finally decided to just cut out the pieces that were within his reach.

I'm such a genius! Hehehe, take _that_ Gary! Ash thought as he proceeded with his idea, giggling all the way, like a school-girl. So enthralled was this trainer with his "mission", that he failed to notice a pair of constricted eyes that watched him from behind.

Yes, my dear readers, Pikachu had recovered from his almost-heart-attack-thing. The little incubus had a satisfied look on his round face. Maybe his plan of throwing Ash down a hole had been a complete failure like its successors, but now he had the twerp where he wanted him: near the great ruler of the skies.

Nimbly, and surprisingly for someone who almost had two heart attacks in one day, Pikachu made his way to the _still _slumbering Rayquaza. Under the clueless trainer's snotty nose, the yellow pokémon started to give subtle, weak-powered, electroshock's to the dragon, careful that the giant would not notice his presence but would instantly focus on Ash's. Since Rayquaza was a dragon-flying type pokémon, the result was instantaneous.

You see, Pikachu is cleverer than he let on and had considered this, little fact, on his equation. Calmly Pikachu melted with the shadows behind him, laughing all the way like the little psychopath he is, until only two joyful, glowing eyes could be seen.

He would admire _his _handiwork from afar now.

Rayquaza yawned and startled the Kanto citizen near his head. Ash slowly and as silently as he could, concealed his drill and hammer in the Mary-Poppins-like bag, which just as salesman had guaranteed, had apparently unlimited storing space. Ash turned around and stared, horror-stricken, as the green creature opened his snake-like eyes that soon morphed into two full moons.

To be continued...

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Oh no! Our hero _finally_ had been discovered! What will happen next? Read this story next time to find out! (Once again, point out grammar and/or other mistakes please!)

-00-Infinity-00-


End file.
